Bijgewerkt: 24 dec 2019
I met Cornee a few months ago when we both worked at a yoga school. I was blown away by his energy and positivity. We connected (on Facebook) and I followed his inspiring journey. I thought it wsa about time to ask about his self-care rituals.
Cornee, was there a specific moment in your life when you felt self-care is very important?
“There were a few moments where I realized I really had to start taking care of myself, it was a year ago that I really made the shift. I have struggled with depression for over ten years, because of high sensitivity, but also because of some trauma’s from my childhood. Feeling depressed was a part of me, and it became a way of living for me. I was very sensitive to the energy of others and I used to take care of anybody’s feelings but mine.
Because I wasn’t good in taking care of myself, I became dependent on others and their support. Support of therapists, clinics, medication and even the Emergency Care in the deepest moments. My friends worried a lot about me. I felt so loved and cared for but nothing really took my depression away, it made me feel hopeless. I came to the point that I started to have thoughts about ending my life, losing all the strength in myself...The hopeless situation made me more and more isolated from others, and nobody was able anymore to take care of me. I finally came to the insight that there was only one person that could make that shit, that person is me!”
What does taking care of yourself mean to you?
“It is all about boundaries. I never learned what my boundaries were and when to set them. We live in a limitless world, where everything is possible, that was a huge struggle for me. So dealing with my limits or boundaries was a challenge for me. Who am I within that huge space and possibilities? My depression really helped me in the end. It showed me my boundaries, and what happens if I do not take care of them.
So being clear about my boundaries, and setting them for myself, gives me the chance to take care of myself. Knowing what I want, what I need, and also what I don’t want and don’t need.”
“Being grateful is another way of taking care of myself. Being grateful for all I have and for the person I am today. When I now feel depressed I give myself space to think over what is going wrong but mostly what is really going well. In order to take care of myself I need to love who I am and what I have. Dancing, yoga and meditation are also great ways to make space for gratitude. As connecting with others and travelling is.”
What do you do when you feel the need to take care of yourself?
“It starts with being conscious of my emotions. Then I dive into why I am not feeling well, to get to know what I need. The first need most of the times is to make space for myself, to step back and feel my emotions. Making space means to just sit down and do nothing, I became very good at it! I have a sort of an Emergency Box with tools to help myself: hoop dancing, to listen to happy music and to ask for a hug. Nursing myself in the way that suites me the best, and to take time for that. It is an ongoing reminder for myself. ”
What is your TCOYS tip to other people?
“Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Knowing what you need and what makes you happy and treat yourself that way. Knowing what you need is the first step but the most important step is to really DO it. Make yourself your highest priority. Ask yourself often: “Is this making me happy?” and if it doesn’t, don’t do it! Don’t do things for somebody else – especially when it isn’t serving you in any way. Having that compassion towards yourself will make everything so much lighter!”