"Taking care of myself also means to do things that scare me!"
I met this amazing woman during one of my workshops at De Bewustzijn School. She had an
amazing vibe and openness. It appeared we were almost neighbors so we ran into each other a lot. We connected on Instagram so I followed her journey on Instagram. She inspires the world with her amazing pictures and her view on racism and representation. I love what she does and became curious about her self-care rituals. Get to know Bete a little better through this interview.
Bete, was there a specific moment in your life when you felt self-care is very important?
“In my family it wasn’t really common to talk about emotions, so I am not really used to talk about my feelings and emotions. Therefore doing so can be quite a challenge. I like to look out for someone, take care of them, but find it hard to accept help from others. This is something I realized when I went into therapy a few years ago. It really helped me to process my emotions and funny enough, I thought I learned everything about life and that I healed completely. But life happens and I caught myself of keeping negative emotions to myself and to hide from them. This made me realize that maybe it was time to speak about it with a professional. It kind of felt like a failure to go back to a therapist but I knew that would be of huge help. From then on I went to lots of workshops and started books that helped to get to know myself (The Power of Now for example).”
What does taking care of yourself mean to you?
“I check in with myself once a week by asking myself the question: “how do I really feel?” and “what do I need that I don’t do right now?” Once I live consciously, it is more clear what I really need. Living consciously means to exercise regularly and to make sure I eat on regular times and cook for myself. This also helps to stay in the moment and being mindful of taking care of my body. Moments in silence are really powerful, I listen to whatever comes up. If something bothers me, it will come up. Then it is up to me, to do something with it or not. Besides, I love to write which brings lots of new insights. It also shows how much you’ve learned along the way, if you look back at those pages. ”
“Taking care of myself also means to do things that scare me! Speaking in public is something I really like but it is also something new and scares me a bit. I like challenges, I learn and grow from them!”
What do you do when you feel the need to take care of yourself?
“I try to check in with myself when I lay in bed at night. How are the days going, am I stressed or do I have enough time to eat and relax during the day? I try to feel what I need, to feel my emotions and to make time to process them. If I put away my emotions, they will come back much harder. Feeling what I need can mean that I need to cry and let my emotions out, but it can also mean to read a book for a day and let go of anything that is going on in that moment. A week ago or so, I didn’t felt great and decided to read a book (‘Damn, Honey’). I finished it in just one day and I felt amazing afterwards!”
What is your TCOYS tip to other people?
“It is okay to be selfish, to put yourself first, to show that you love yourself! And also, do things that make you happy, even it means to do them by yourself. Don’t let anything stop you from having an amazing time.”