“Connecting with people is an important way to connect with myself”

Bijgewerkt: 5 nov 2020

Ammer is a loving person and always willing to help. He consciously choose his tribe of friends where he is deeply connected to and helps them from a place of love and connection. He is that friend that you can truly rely on. As he is known for his love and care, I wanted to know how he takes care of himself and his own energy.

Ammer, can you point out a specific moment in your life when you felt self-care is very important?

“I realized this already at a young age. Friends and family tend to lean on me, I always felt that I had to take care of them and to make everybody happy. I started slowly to realise that it took a lot of my energy, energy that I wanted to put into other things that I consciously choose myself. I wanted my life to look different, so I decided to move to another city and start over. This was a good decision, I took good care of myself and made new friends that I share the same values with.”

“Then my parents divorced, this was much harder for me then I could imagine. I am a great talker and I talked about the whole situation except about my emotions. My job was very demanding at that time too, I was pushing myself to go on and on. Then I reached a point that I just couldn’t continue and I got burned out. So even tough I knew self-care is important I forgot about it in harder times. My burn-out was the true eye-opener to take self-care very serious.”

What does taking care of yourself mean to you?

“To take rest: physically and emotionally. I do this by spending time alone, to be in silence, to listen to my emotions and to start dealing with them. It can be uncomfortable but those are the times I realise I need it the most. It does take some courage to deal with your emotions because it is much easier to ignore them. Knowing how important it is, I am dealing with them when I need to.”

“Taking rest could also be listening to music or making music, gardening, making myself a good coffee and enjoy it in silence, actually: realizing I don’t have to be ‘on’ the whole time.”

What do you do when you feel the need to take care of yourself?


“I learned to accept the lows in life, I learned that life isn’t only about highs. Besides reflecting I like to talk to the people I love or people I meet and feel connected to. Connecting with people is an important way to connect with myself. And once you start sharing your emotions with other people, they open up too about their struggles and emotions, knowing you are not alone in your own struggle is super helpful for the healing process.”

What is your TCOYS tip to other people?

“Give yourself time and space for whatever you need. Sometimes you need to take a step back to take a huge step forward. We like a quick solution for our problems once they come onto the surface, that is not possible, you have been building up that problem over the years. So, give yourself space and time to recover. That space is different to everybody, I invite you to start exploring what space means to you.”

Ammer is a yoga teacher and social worker in Amsterdam.

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